OVERTAKEN BY THE PERSONAL
Its a long time since my last blog – if intentions were actions this would not have happened. But events overtake you and your intentions.
When I decided to start a blog my son talked about the danger of becoming very personal and how it was difficult to strike a balance. I felt this would not be a problem for me because I had no intention of sharing anything personal. I intended this to be a diary of thoughts – not feelings. But sometimes something happens that so dominates your life and the dividing line between thought and feeling becomes blurred.
My only brother died this July. He was just 61. Single and diabetic he did not take care of himself nor did he have someone to do that for him. This resulted in the inevitable – a massive heart attack. After 16 days in the ICU, he gave up.
I was completely unprepared for it. And it has taken these many months for me to slowly take control of my life and attempt to bring it back on even keel.
Restarting my blog is perhaps one of the signs that I am succeeding. Objective thought – critical and analytical – and the ability to articulate it is perhaps an indication of emotional healing.
There are so many thoughts that have been bottled up during these past months – all vying with each other for supremacy of expression – that I don’t know where to begin. Perhaps the best would be to start with some of the reflections that arose from coping with the loss of a brother.
A continuing of the catharsis I suppose….
